Does it matter who gets to hold your baby first?

“I’d be p***ed off if I was the mum and found out Holly had held my baby before me."

Regardless of the ins and outs of this particular story (we're guessing there was some agreement beforehand on what would happen with the baby) - it did get us wondering how our own MFM mums felt about this precious early moment with their baby, and especially, how they felt if they didn't get to hold their little one first, for whatever reason (and we know there can be lots of them).

And we had many, many comments from our Facebook community on this one.

Of course - in certain situations - for example if your baby is very ill or born prematurely, the chances are the mum won't be the first to hold their newborn.

Tallulah S told us:

"My oldest was 11 weeks early and he was held by loads of people before me, I didn't get to hold him for two days and due to needing surgery I didn't hold him for almost two more weeks, but I felt no resentment towards anyone who did hold him because once that baby is in your arms nothing else matters."

Sue J had a similar experience:

"Surgeon, midwife, husband, more midwives... I didn't hold her for almost 2hrs due to complications with me in theatre. It didn't bother me then, or now. It also hasn't affected my bond with her, or my ability to feed her."

Some of you though were super keen to ensure you got the first cuddle and made sure it was part of your birth plan.

"My daughter was pulled out and put on my tummy. 1st cuddle, they cleaned her up and straight back to me for a cuddle. Then her dad and aunt," Kelly H told us.

"Tbh having her in my arms made the trauma of a botched delivery go away. She was on me nursing while they stitched me up too. But that's what I wanted and the only thing I said in my delivery plan."

And Samantha W also wanted the first touch:

"I requested skin to skin immediately; so as soon as my son came out he was placed up on my chest... the medical team were great about accommodating that... they just carried on working around us & waited an hour before taking him to do the basic newborn tests.

"It was such a precious time & for me it felt very important that I have that.

"Not all women are lucky enough to get it though so I feel very fortunate."

On the other hand, some of you were quite relieved there was someone else to hold your newborn first - as Helen G says:

"I was exhausted and high on the drugs they gave me for forcep delivery - I was happy to let husband haven't he first cuddle while I got my bearings."

And others wonder why it's so important - and feel there's too much emphasis on this sort of thing when it comes to childbirth.

"I wasn't the first person to hold either of my babies. I think society places too much weight on these things and subsequently unnecessary pressure on women," says Rebecca B.

"In an ideal world labour would be straight forward, baby would be well but we unfortunately can't guarantee that for everyone. I wish the media would stop over analysing these things. It really doesn't help anyone."

And we really get where Rebecca's coming from. How your baby's birth will pan out is totally unknown until you're doing it - and the way it actually happens can be a million miles apart from how you wanted it to happen, right?

And if it's necessary that your baby gets held by medical experts before you - then that's just the way it has to be.

"My partner was first to hold baby because I had an emergency cesarean," Elise M tells us. "It bothered me at first but doesn't now, I just got a bit jealous but that's nothing now! Doesn't matter if it was me or him! He's ours to keep."

And that, we think, sums it up perfectly ?

What do you think?

Did you hold your baby first? If not - did it bother you? Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook

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