When your baby won’t feed herself

• Use two spoons at mealtimes: one for her to experiment with, and one for you to shovel the food in with
• Be a role model: eat together, and let her watch what you do. Encourage her to pick her own food up; don’t try to help her
• Load a spoon for her and leave it on her tray so she can attempt to feed herself. Sticky foods like mashed banana or porridge work well
• Give finger food snacks between meals
• Initiate playtime with messy food like cold cooked spaghetti or jelly, to get her used to the sensation of having food on her hands
• Choose child-friendly cutlery, with short, easy-grip handles. Some have angled heads to make it easier to get food from plate to mouth
• Play games where she pretends to feed a soft toy with a spoon, to help her practise scooping motions
• Try a fork instead of a spoon: some children find it easier to stab than scoop
• Have one meal a day where you don’t help at all. Choose a time when you’re not in a rush! Don’t panic if she doesn’t eat; she’ll make up for it at the next meal
• Use cutlery for non-food-related tasks, such as chopping up playdough, to get her used to handling it
• Be calm about mess. If she’s used to you sighing or snapping about spilt food, she might be reluctant to try to feed herself. A long-sleeved bib and a plastic mat under the highchair will minimise the damage.

Is there a problem?

All children develop at their own rate, and some are slower to self-feed than others. If you have concerns, you may want to speak to your health visitor, for example if:

• Your baby seems to struggle with motor skills such as picking up a toy and putting it to her mouth
• Your baby is over 10 months old and doesn’t demonstrate the pincer grip (being able to pick things up between thumb and forefinger)
• Your baby frequently gags when putting things in her mouth
• But otherwise, stay calm and take your time: self-feeding is simply another development in your little one’s life which will get better with practice.