Men: Trying for a baby
Women understandably place a lot of personal importance on getting pregnant, but what about their partners?
Although all eyes seem to be on a woman when a couple make the decision to start trying for a baby, it takes two to tango (as they say), and it can be an emotional ride for the man too. For a start, thinking about the big question 'Is your life ready for a baby?' is something you both need to consider. There may be disappointments and, when you do get pregnant, there will be major decisions along the way, so you both need to understand and respect the other person's feelings on the subject.
If possible, try reading the ThinkBaby Top Tips for Conception together, to get you on the right track...
Getting your body prepared for pregnancy
It might be your wife or girlfriend who is physically having the baby, but extensive research now shows that successful conception, healthy pregnancies and even health long-term outlooks for your children can start with good living habits before sperm meets egg.
Just as a woman takes folic acid ahead of conceiving, you should consider taking regular supplements too. There are several nutrients for males pre-conception that are worth looking at.
It is also good to cut out smoking, reduce your alcohol and junk food intake, and take a good look at how you can improve your diet.
Just as with women, these steps don't have to feel like a punishment, but instead will quickly help you feel more energised, which is useful for all the sex ahead…
Trying for a baby
If you are used to having intercouse with condoms, you will notice a much bigger difference once you start trying and the condoms are off, than someone whose partner takes the pill.
For some people, the weeks or months they are trying are a special time. Other couples try not to think about it as anything other than their usual sexual regime, because they don't want to feel pressure. Either way, the effect will be the same in the end hopefully, but do what feels right and most enjoyable and comfortable for both of you.
You can also check out our ThinkBaby suggestions of sexual positions for conception.
If it doesn't happen straight away
The chances are most likely that you won't get pregnant on your first go or even your first month of trying, so as a couple you need to think longer term. If it happens sooner, it should more of a pleasant surprise, than it taking longer being a disappointment.
Many women, as you'll see in our forum chats, find the expectation of a monthly pregnancy home test extremely exciting, and the no-show if they aren't pregnant, a draining disappointment.
Be there for your partner as much as you can. Although no one should ignore your feelings, it does tend to be the case that a woman will feel she is the major failure if she isn't pregnant come the time for another home test.
You might find it good to have a friend you confide in (as discreetly as possible, as many men and women don't want to broadcast to everyone that they're trying for a baby as this tends to intensify the expectation further).
Don't forget our ThinkBaby forums. We have a section for various forums on Trying for a Baby, and a Just for Dads section. You can start your own thread, anonymously, in either section, and you'll find great support from other men like you as well as those who have been through what you are going through, and who are now dads. Yes, the forums look like they're full of women, but there are some other blokes in there - honest!
Six months and still nothing?
If you have been trying for six months and your partner isn't pregnant yet, rest assured that alarm bells rarely start to even ring quietly until 12 months have passed. If you want to get an overview of the situation, have a read of our article Six Months and Still Nothing. And you could have a read of our lowdown about Common Tests for Male Infertility, if you want to prepare yourself for a future possibility.
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