‘No one should feel judged’ – Ashley James fights back against ‘soother shame’
Ashley James joins MAM’s #RightToSoothe campaign as research shows 63% of parents feel judged for using dummies.
Parenting can feel like a minefield of judgement, and now new research reveals that using a dummy is one of the latest sources of scrutiny.
A study by baby brand MAM found that 63% of parents have been judged for their decision to use a soother, with over a quarter admitting they removed it due to external pressure.
Soothers, also known as dummies, remain a divisive topic.
While many parents use them to comfort their babies—whether regularly (42%), as a sleep aid (69%), or as a last resort (38%)—judgement still surrounds their use.
The study, which surveyed 1,000 British parents, found that 36% of criticism comes from strangers, 30% from other parents, and 20% from friends.
Even partners (14%) and the parents’ own families (18%) contribute to the pressure, leaving some feeling scrutinised in their personal choices.
This ‘soother shame’ is having a real impact. Over a quarter (27%) of parents said they actively avoid socialising to escape judgement, while others admitted they feel self-conscious in public when their baby has a dummy.
‘You are not alone’ – Ashley James supports parents’ choices
TV presenter and mum-of-two Ashley James has joined MAM’s #RightToSoothe campaign, encouraging parents to stand firm in their choices.
As a mother, it's heartbreaking to be shamed for a decision that feels right for my child and our family
She urges parents not to give in to pressure: "If you're feeling isolated or criticised, know that you are not alone—there is support, and you are doing an incredible job."
One of the key concerns parents face is misinformation about soothers. Nearly a quarter (23%) admitted they had taken away a dummy due to fears about dental issues.
However, MAM's leading consultant midwife, Zoe Watson, reassures parents:
When used correctly, dummies can offer benefits, such as soothing infants and helping them settle. The study highlights how societal pressures are causing some parents to feel shamed for making decisions they believe are best for their child's well-being.
Through the #RightToSoothe campaign, MAM hopes to educate parents and the public on the benefits of soothers and create a more supportive environment.
For many parents, dummies are a vital tool in comforting their little ones—and no parent should feel judged for making the best choice for their baby.
Read more:
Authors
Ruairidh is the Digital Lead on MadeForMums. He works with a team of fantastically talented content creators and subject-matter experts on MadeForMums.