How to support mums facing baby loss this Mother’s Day, according to experts

But for parents who’ve experienced the heartbreak of pregnancy or baby loss, it can be an incredibly difficult time – full of conflicting emotions and painful reminders.

That’s why leading baby loss charity Sands is urging friends, family members, and colleagues to reach out and show support in meaningful ways, even if they’re not quite sure what to say.

Why Mother's Day can be so difficult

“Days like Mother’s Day can be full of mixed emotions,” says Jen Coates, Director of Bereavement Support at Sands.

We know from bereaved families that the run-up can be worrying. They may need help to express how they feel and what they need.

For many grieving mums, the silence or absence of acknowledgement can be more painful than clumsy words.

That’s why Coates encourages people to reach out, even if they’re unsure how to approach the topic.

“At Sands, we understand that you are still a mum, and we are here for you,” she adds.

What to say (and what not to say)

It can be hard to find the right words when someone close to you is grieving – especially on a day so emotionally charged. But Sands says small gestures can make a big difference. Their guidance includes:

• Say something – anything – rather than staying silent
• Acknowledge their baby by name if you can
• Keep it simple: “I’m thinking of you and [baby’s name] today”
• Ask how they are
• Reassure them that their feelings – whatever they are – are valid
• Encourage them to take things at their own pace
• Offer to do something together, like a walk or coffee
• Be yourself, be kind, and if you stumble, apologise and try again

Grieving mum Lorna says, “I really appreciate my friends and family acknowledging that it might be a bittersweet day for us. Sometimes it's a lovely day, sometimes there are melancholy moments. Even a simple hug emoji can feel supportive.”

Simple acts of kindness can mean the world

You don’t need grand gestures to show support. A message, a hug, or even a thoughtful card can go a long way in helping someone feel seen and remembered.

I have certain friends who every year message me on Mother’s Day just saying ‘thinking of you’ and that means so, so much. Everyone is different though – some people don’t want a card – but a simple acknowledgement meant the world to me.

Sands even offers a range of Mother’s Day cards in their online shop, designed with bereaved mums in mind.

Remembering all mums this Mother’s Day

Motherhood looks different for everyone. Some mums hold their children in their arms, while others hold them in their hearts. But every mum deserves to be recognised – and not just on Mother’s Day.

Whether you’re supporting a partner, friend, sister, colleague or anyone in your life who has experienced baby loss, Sands encourages us all to remember: they are still mums. And that is something truly worth celebrating.

Sands is here to help

If you or someone you know is struggling this Mother’s Day, Sands offers a safe and supportive space to connect with others who understand.

Their bereavement support services include an online community, a Facebook group, and a free helpline offering emotional support.

You can call the Sands helpline on 0808 164 3332. It’s open Monday to Friday from 10am to 3pm, with additional evening hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 9pm.

There will also be special opening hours on Sunday 30 March, from 10am to 12pm.

You can also reach out via email at helpline@sands.org.uk or visit their websites at sands.community and sands.org.uk/support.