5 ways to help your teenager deal with exam results anxiety
The wait for exam results can be an anxious and stressful time for teenagers. Here are five top tips from a university counsellor on how to help your child remain calm and focussed and what to do if the results aren't what they'd hoped for.
Whether your teenager has taken GCSEs, A Levels, BTECs, the IB diploma or another qualification this summer, you can give yourself a big pat on the back for successfully navigating the stress and worry of the actual exams.
Perhaps you were helping your teenager overcome exam nerves, constantly reminding them of the need to revise or supporting them when they thought they'd messed up an exam. Whichever camp you found yourself in, we know it can be an exhausting and mentally draining parenting challenge.
Just when you thought you and your child could breathe a sigh of relief and put all those sleepless nights behind you though, it's time to consider results day and what that means for your child, both mentally and practically.
Typically exam results in the UK are released in August and in 2024 the dates are as follows: Thursday 15th August for A Level results and BTEC results, Thursday 22nd August for GCSE results, and International Baccalaureate results and Scottish SQA results have already been announced on the 6th July and 6th of August respectively.
As the calendar edges ever closer to those all-important upcoming dates you'll want to keep a close eye on your child as they might not be as carefree and relaxed about it all as they appear. Many children put a huge amount of pressure on themselves to do well and will be extremely anxious about not achieving the grades or university place they desire.
To help you have a happy and celebratory results day here are five top parenting tips from Danielle D'Onofrio, University Counsellor at ACS International Schools Egham.
Encourage early and open communication
"Start conversations about results day early," says Danielle. "Open communication will ensure your child is comfortable discussing their hopes and fears, and dreams and aspirations. If your child is particularly concerned, leverage the support of university or careers counsellors and academic staff. They have experience in handling such situations and can provide valuable advice and reassurance.
"This can help set realistic expectations and provide clarity on firm and insurance offers; knowing what to expect and having a clear understanding of all potential outcomes can alleviate some of the pre-results day anxiety."
Understand clearing and other options
"Inform your child about the clearing process and other alternatives such as gap years, retaking exams, or applying to universities abroad. Knowing that there are multiple pathways to their goals can reduce the fear of failure.
"For IB students, understanding the timeline differences with A Level results and the availability of university places through clearing can also be beneficial. Clearing opens on IB results day, which means that IB students get earlier access to clearing compared to their peers."
Focus on what can be controlled
"Remind your child that they cannot change their results once the exams are over," says Danielle. "What they can control is the steps they take next. Have all necessary information about alternative options to hand, and this way, they will feel more prepared to handle any outcome.
"Prepare for both best and worst-case scenarios. This means having a plan if things go as hoped, but also knowing the steps to take if the results are not as expected. Discussing and having a backup plan can significantly reduce panic on the actual day."
Maintain a healthy routine
"It sounds simple, but ensure your child gets enough sleep the night before results day," says Danielle. "Adequate rest will help them think clearly and manage stress better. Encourage them to eat healthy meals to avoid any added anxiety from physical discomfort. Also, suggest they avoid social media on results day to prevent additional stress from peers’ results."
Have support ready
"Your attitude towards the situation will significantly influence your child’s reaction," says Danielle. "Stay positive and supportive, reinforcing the idea that results day, while important, is not the end-all of their academic journey.
"Encourage resilience and adaptability. Being surrounded by supportive family members or friends on results day can provide much-needed comfort. If the results aren’t as expected or hoped for, having someone with a clear head can help your child stay calm and focused, especially when discussing options with counsellors or universities.
"Your support and encouragement in the lead up to results day is so important. It’s a time that should be seen as a celebration of your child’s hard work and dedication, and regardless of the outcomes, what matters most is helping your child navigate their path forward with confidence and optimism."
What to do if your child doesn't get their desired grades
- Make sure you've had a conversation with your teenager ahead of results day about a Plan B scenario in case they don't get their desired grades. This will help them to immediately be able to envisage another option for their future and will help stop any panic setting in.
- Let the news and disappointment sink in and then ask your teenager how they want you to help or support them and what their thoughts are before you take any practical action.
- If your child has taken A Levels, BTECs or the IB visit the UCAS website with them to find out how to use the clearing system and what options are still open.
- Speak to your child's teachers to get support and advice on what they think is the best option for your child going forward. Always involve your teenager in these discussions though and make sure they're happy with any meetings before you book them.
- Consider speaking to someone at your child's first choice of university or further education college. If your child has missed a grade by a small margin there may be a chance they can still be accepted. Check each university or college's policy regarding missed grades first though and also check that your child is happy for you/ them to call in the first place.
- Discuss the idea of re-sits with your child but do not put any pressure on them to go back to school until they've had a chance to think about their options.
- Look into Careers Advice at your child's school or contact an external advisor or counsellor such as The National Careers Service.
Pics: Getty Images
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